I mentioned how I would do a post about finding God in my life and since I am always one to keep a promise (to the best of my ability), this is me following through.
This is my life story:
My father is Catholic and my mother is sort of without religion (she believes in a higher power but just has no way or desire to practice upon it). I was raised Catholic, always going to church school and mass, following a routine. I never was a strong believer. Church was just a part of a routine. I never enjoyed it, but I never hated it. I thought I knew what God was. I thought that was it. I thought this was how my relationship with God was supposed to be like.
I followed this routine all the way the end of my sophomore year in high school, when I became a confirmed member of the Catholic Church. Me, being the youngest, and my brother having already been confirmed, it was at this point my dad fell out of touch with his religion. Amongst other things, he felt as though he had done his job by bringing me to the point of confirmation and now that I was old enough I was able to decide my faith as my own. Which is true, I was older enough to figure things out for myself. And I figured that church on Sundays was a waste of time. I was going through a rather low point in my life, and decided to blame God. I then proceeded to inconsistently go to Church for the next two years, going to phases of highs and lows with my faith. Sometimes I would go to church for a whole month in a row just to feel good about me, but most of the time it was basically me not going to church for 6 months on end.
It wasn't like I didn't believe. I just never felt comfortable in my setting. I never felt as though I was making a connection to God. I never knew his presence. Being Catholic, I rarely studied the Bible. I felt so alone and isolated from my other non-Catholic friends who would reach out to me to join their bible studies, so I just never went. It was also at this time in my life a lot of things started to change with my family (a story for another time), and with every bad thing in my life I started to blame God. I started to see him as the person who was supposed to give me everything. He was the one who was supposed to make me prosper, and when my life didn't it must have been his fault. I really fell out of touch with His love in my own life.
I look back, especially on this past year, and I see how Christ was making himself known to me. My friends were wonderful and accepting of my almost "lack of acting on my faith" ordeal. They were beacons of Christ in other ways. They were kind and filled with His spirit. They were constantly inviting me to events and clubs that would allow me to pursue God (s/o to Hannah and Isabel). I know it was God's way of saying, "Hey I'm still here. I am always here, even when you lose your way". Slowly, my friends grew upon me. They uplifted me and encompassed me in their love, in His love. Going to college, I knew I wanted to find my place with my faith. I even talked to somebody during rush (my big now hehe) about how I really looking for a place in college where I could find my place in Christ. I could see I needed him now more than ever.
So here I am, about 7/8ish weeks since I have left home for college, and y'all GOD IS SO GOOD. I am beginning to find a community, I have found a home. Austin Stone is an incredible way to personally connect with your faith. Coming from my ritualistic tendencies as a Catholic, Stone is WAY different. But I love it. I am in a Young Life small group, and even though it is in its beginning stages, I am falling in love with the girls I am surrounded by that are all living in God's name. I participate in my sorority's bible study as well (the chaplain of our KD chapter is my Grand Big!!!). I turned over a new leaf in college. I have a brand new bible that I am (very very very very very) obsessed with. I genuinely feel as though I have an amazing support system. I wake up smiling because I am too excited to see what God has in store for me. Life is good. God is great.
From this all I have learned that God is always there for you, no matter what problems you face. The more I turn towards him, the happier I am. The more I glorify his name, the more I can feel love washing over me. My life verse is Romans 5:3-4 (I bet I quote this verse more than anything). Here it is translated in three different version.
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Romans 5:3-5
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (ESV)
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worth patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope machete not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. (KJV)
And that's not all. We are full of joy even when we suffer. We know that our suffering gives is the strength to go on. The strength to go on produces character. Character produces hope. And hope will never let us down. God has poured his love into our hearts He did it through the Holy Spirit, who he has given to us. (NIRV)
And that's not all. We are full of joy even when we suffer. We know that our suffering gives is the strength to go on. The strength to go on produces character. Character produces hope. And hope will never let us down. God has poured his love into our hearts He did it through the Holy Spirit, who he has given to us. (NIRV)
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Doesn't that just give you chills. It always makes me smile more than anything in the world. So I just wanted to let you know, even if you have never had a relationship with God. Even if you blamed all the bad things in your life on God. Even if you thought God had abandoned you, He is still here for you. He ALWAYS is here. How awesome is that? How comforting is that? UGH. It makes me just squirm with joy. I LOVE IT!!
Doesn't that just give you chills. It always makes me smile more than anything in the world. So I just wanted to let you know, even if you have never had a relationship with God. Even if you blamed all the bad things in your life on God. Even if you thought God had abandoned you, He is still here for you. He ALWAYS is here. How awesome is that? How comforting is that? UGH. It makes me just squirm with joy. I LOVE IT!!
